145+ A. Whitney Brown Quotes: : Click if You Dare! (Images)

Alan Whitney Brown, who arrived in this world on 8th July 1952, is known to be an American comedian and writer.

Brown has the distinction of winning an Emmy Award in 1988 for Outstanding Writing in a Music Program with Tom Davis, Al Franken, Phil Hartman, Lorne Michaels, Mike Myers, and Conan O’Brien.

He also had been among the original correspondents on The Daily Show of Comedy Central from the year 1996 to 1998. Below, we have mentioned some intriguing A. Whitney Brown Quotes that deserve special mention.

A. Whitney Brown Quotes

  • Even though the past actually took place, history is concerned with what somebody jotted down. 
  • I have an affinity for animals, and therefore, I am a non-vegetarian; I do not like plants, and so I happen to be a vegetarian.
  • A black lawyer was recently killed by some white South Africans because he had been black. That was not correct. They ought to have murdered him because of the reason that he had been a lawyer.
  • That is humor’s saving grace; none will laugh at you even though you fail to succeed. 
  • I am extremely fed up with society, and I can be compared to a pyromaniac in a terrifying jungle.
  • The bombs that are used by us are smarter as compared to any high school student. At the very least, they will be able to find Kuwait. 

  • You cannot call me an atheist. How is it not possible for you to have faith in something which does not exist? That is too convoluted in my case.

  • Harry S. Truman was a moody person. The sole tourist attraction in the US happens to be his birthplace, where you won’t see the Japanese roaming with cameras.

  • It will be a good idea to plant trees that provide us with book and oxygen which are extremely important for us to survive.

  • Oxygen and books which help us to survive are actually provided by the trees. It will be a sensible idea to plant trees out there.

  • Our bombs will be able to locate Kuwait, and therefore, they are smarter compared to an average high school student.

  • It is a proven fact that it is possible for the jaguar to become extinct with the Pekingese surviving. This indicates that somebody has not given enough thought to this matter.

  • Many people stay in China. It is quite tough to be a person in such a huge crowd of people. Just give it a thought. This implies that even though you might be a 1-in-a-million sort of guy, you will nevertheless find many other guys similar to you. 

  • I have the least idea of whether the unborn has got any rights; however, I am aware of the fact that being reborn will not provide you with more rights.
  • There are many things we can learn after studying history. As a matter of fact, the most significant lesson of history is the fact that the lessons of history are never learned by us. This makes us appear to be stupid in the long run. We must not remind them. Any decent history book happens to be a lengthy listing of errors, and that’s really embarrassing.

  • I have no idea whether you are going to have any rights following your birth. I simply know that being reborn will not entitle you to two times as many.

  • The fundamental concept of the Baptists is that in case someone is held under the water for a considerable span of time, he will come to your method of thinking. We call this ritual “Bobbing for Baptists.”

  • According to the Bible, “You will be made free by means of truth.” However, we ought to remember that Spiro Agnew told us that a proper lie will be keeping you out of prison first of all.
  • Enjoy each and every minute. You will get lots of time to be dead.

  • I believe that the time has come to stop complaining about the blunders made by the President, and we ought to provide him with a bit of credit for being creative. This definitely sounds just like a guest of Oprah Winfrey.
a whitney brown quotes
  • Right now, when you take a look at the conservative camp, it appears to be extremely tempting to blame it. However, as a matter of fact, the Reagan revolution does matter a lot to Reefer. For one particular thing, it has made the symptoms of senility acceptable socially. 

  • Even though I never joined, I was in the habit of visiting the church from time to time. I had a liking for it since they always passed out cash at the end.

  • The last dragon was killed by Saint George, and for that, he was called a hero. Although I had not seen a dragon yet, I wanted him to leave one right for me. Saint Patrick became known to people for driving the snakes out of Ireland. This business of making saints out of individuals has to come to an end. 

  • Once more, decent citizens will be capable of entering the worshipping house and keel down before an almost-naked man who is hanging by several ghastly body piercings from an apparatus made of wood. 

  • At times, Whitney and I enjoy our time while going through the newspaper. You will be really amazed at the locations they say I have been to. 

  • Take a look at the tremendous chaos right now at the conservative camp. It is quite tempting to blame it all the way down. Nevertheless, a lot is owed by the Reagan revolution to Reefer.  

A. Whitney Brown Sayings

  • “I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.”
  • “I’ve been on the road for 15 years, and the last few years have been really encouraging. There are so many artists and people like myself who are finally being heard.”
  • “Remember when ‘selfies’ were just called ‘masturbation’?”
  • “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals, I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.”
  • “To succeed in show business, it’s not enough to be talented. You have to be drunk, and have a drug problem, and go to rehab, and then you can be talented.”
  • “I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.”
  • “I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That’s how I lost my mind.”
  • “I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.”
  • “If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.”
  • “The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.”
  • “I’m not saying that all politicians are actors, but it is interesting to note that the word ‘politics’ comes from the Greek word ‘poly,’ meaning ‘many,’ and the word ‘ticks,’ meaning ‘bloodsucking parasites.'”
  • “My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.”
  • “I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.”
  • “When I die, I’m leaving my body to science fiction.”
  • “I don’t believe in the afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.”
  • “I have an existential map; it has ‘you are here’ written all over it.”
  • “I’m a peripheral visionary. I can see into the future, but only way off to the side.”
  • “You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”
  • “I was born with nothing, and I still have most of it.”
  • “The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.”
  • “I’m not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. Goddamit, I’m a billionaire.”
  • “I don’t know what’s wrong with my television set. I got into a taxi, and the driver said he wasn’t going to broadcast it.”
  • “Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?”
  • “I’m so optimistic I’d go after Moby Dick in a rowboat and take the tartar sauce with me.”
  • “I’m a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film.”
  • “You can’t shake hands with a clenched fist.”
  • “The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be – and when they’re not, we cry.”
  • “I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.”
  • “The only time to be positive you have a clear path is when a potential crash is imminent.”
  • “I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas lights.”
  • “Some people see things that are and ask, ‘Why?’ Some people dream of things that never were and ask, ‘Why not?’ Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.”
  • “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”
  • “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
  • “You can’t have a light without a dark to stick it in.”
  • “People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”
  • “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.”
  • “You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven today, and we don’t know where the heck she is.”
  • “The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.”
  • “If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.”
  • “I’ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn’t it.”

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