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51+ Best Doctor Puns and Funny Quotes

A doctor is an individual qualified with a medical degree who provides treatment to sick people. Share some humorous and hilarious doctor jokes with your family and companions to make them laugh for hours. Given below is a list of some funny doctor puns.

Doctor Puns and Funny Quotes

  • Why was it told by the doctor to the nurse not to change the position of the medicine closet variety?

So she won’t be able to rouse the sleeping medicines.

  • Patient: Doctor, a spoon is swallowed by me.

Doctor: Be seated and don’t change your position.

  • What separates a specialist and a general practitioner?

One provides you treatment with what you have, and another believes you have what he treats.

_Patient: Doctor I guess, I lost my eyesight and urgently need spectacle.

 Teller: Yes, you clearly do. This is a financial institution.

_Doctor asked the nurse about the little kid’s health who gulped ten quarters previous evening.

Nurse: No recovery yet.

_Doctor: I have extremely terrible news. Patient needs immediate treatment of Alzheimer’s and cancer.

 Patient:  at least I don’t have malignancy.

 _Doctor: There is some terrible information and some extremely terrible information.

Patient: Then, I want to hear the terrible information first.

_A lot of rash decisions made by one of my companions because he chose to be a dermatologist.

_A man visits a doctor and says “I am constantly noticing a werewolf, with gigantic and pointed teeth”. Then the doctor asked if he has ever seen a psychologist?” He answered nope, only a werewolf.

_A man visits a surgeon and explains how it aches whenever his neck, chest or his arm is touched by him. It is said by the doctor that his finger is broken.

_It was said by me to the doctor at the clinic that, “I continuously have a vision that my eyes alter its color”. He said It is only the color of my vision.

 _A car was parked by my companion in a hospital car parking area. Helper appeared and said this is not for anyone except badge holders. My friend replied but I have got a terrible shoulder.

 _I questioned a doctor if he had any treatment for my liver, he provided me with a half kg of onions.

 _What was the reason of the doctor giggling at the X-ray of a leg? 

Because it was humerus.

 _Why does the contagious diseases zone of my local clinic have an incredible internet connection?

because there are a lot of hot spots.

 _There is a zone in my local clinic where individuals read Auld Lang Syne and related poems with sincere and intense conviction.

_One of my dermatologist companions began his profession from scratch.

_What would a doctor who treats former fighters be called? A veteran-arian.

 _It is said by my doctor that the reason of my backache is an organ that is affected by a virus.

 _What kind of weapon a doctor likes the most?

 A shotgun.

_What was the reason for Dalmatians visiting an eye doctor?

He was continuously seeing spots.

_What was said by the doctor to the weapon ship?

It’s time to give you a booster shot.

_What was said by one tonsil to another tonsil?

Put on your outfit — The doctor is about to remove us.

_Who would you contact first when there is an immediate necessity of a doctor?

The closest golf class.

_Why did the thick strong cord visit the doctor?

Because there was a tangle in its tummy.

_What was the reason of the bucket visiting the doctor?

The bucket had a pail complexion.

_What would a doctor who fixes down websites be called?

A URL-ologist.

_Why did the vampire visit the doctor?

He was continuously coffined.

_Where do ill ships visit to get treatment?

To the dock.

_What is the secret of the calmness of a doctor?

Doctors have a lot of patients.

_Why did the automatic device visit the doctor?

Because it had a virus.

_How was the invisible man cured by the doctor?

He was taken by the doctor to the ICU.

_What can be the best soon to be hidden from a doctor?

An apple orchard.

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