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45+ Best Steal Puns and Funny Quotes

Whatever it may be you can actually never stop laughing at some of the stupid but funny puns. How about some puns on theft or stealing? Well, this is the right place for you to laugh over these puns. So, have a look at the compilation below.

Steal Puns and Funny Quotes

  • What is the similarity between an organ theft victim and a new born baby? Both of them are delivered.
  • I could not believe that my son, who was a road worker, was fired from the job because of theft. But when I reached home, I had to believe it as all the signs were there.

I was accused of stealing a cheese burger today. The chef really grilled me.

The police was investigating the theft of a suitcase today. He actually found the thief really fast, so you can say that it was a really brief case.

I still remember that as a kid my father was fired from his job as road worker because he was accused of theft. My mother would not believe it until she saw all the signs.

One day my cat stole a drone from somewhere and the owner of the drone accused me of theft. But I told him clearly that it was not stolen but rather it was purr-chased.

People who live in Southern France are always worried about theft because they have too much Toulouse.

The man who stole my bad joke was punished.

I could never imagine in my whole life that my son would start stealing the road signals. After I got home, I saw that all the signs were there.

I was trying to steal a window but the guilt was too overwhelming for and I could not take the pane.

The black bird would always steal the cattle and people would call it the rustle crow.

My wife would always tell me not to steal anything from the kitchen. But it was only a whisk that I wanted to take.

It is known as plaguerize if you steal anyone’s research on plague.

What would name that person who steals the lungs of another person? Breathtaking.

They almost caught me stealing a board game yesterday. But it was just a risk that I was willing to take. 

What would you call the rodent which always steals all your dessert? You can call him a pie-rat.

There are times when I would actually pretend to steal things. And they are mime now.

My brother went to the grocery store and stole an aluminum pan. But the police foild all his plans.

Hoping that my car insurance would work, I put a sticker on my car that said, ‘steal me’. But it didn’t work because someone stole the sticker instead of the car.

I did not know that when I was a kid, my father would steal board games from the toy stores. But when I grew up I could find all the clues adding up.

Who kills a man and does not even steal his Rolex? Someone who has no time in his hands.

The DJ tried to steal some strawberry preserves at the party. But the host of the party claimed that it was his jam.

What would you name the person who always steals creams? You can call him a creaminal.

What happens to the person who steals uranium? He becomes a theiranium.

Why does he steal soaps? To get away in a clean manner.

My brother’s cat always steals something from the kitchen. This makes me really fur-ious.

The thief stole most of the utensils from my kitchen that night. Well, I must say he took some whisk.

The thief went to the theatre. The next day I heard that he stole spotlight.

If you steal the eyelids of someone, no one will bat an eye. But once you steal their brain, they will lose their mind. 

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