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48+ Best Tool Puns and Funny Quotes

Tools come in handy for a lot of purposes. They can be industrial or household and is of great importance for anyone. They are also great for making puns because of the plenty of opportunities for wordplay. Almost everyone enjoys a good pun about tools.

Tool Puns and Funny Quotes

  • Why could the engineer not use any of the scales? Because all of them were tareable.
  • Why was the writer who wrote a novel about sandpaper confused? Because he was not sure if it belonged to the friction genre or the non friction one.
  • What did the paper cutting instrument order at the restaurant? A scissor salad.

_What did the scissor tell his partner while they went on a date at a restaurant? He said, “I will shear my food with you.”

_What did the cardboard reply when he was asked about his plans for the weekend? He said, “Nothing much. Just plane around.”

_Which tool is never bent down by traumatic events? A coping saw.

_What would you call it when a carpenter puts a pointed, long instrument into another pointed, long instrument? Awl in awl, an efficient machinery.

_Which tool do you find in the bag of the Mexican magician? A Magic Juan.

_Why were all the tools of the lumberjack broken? Because of the axedent.

_Why did the mechanic lose all his tools? Because he had no attention spanner.

_Why was the mechanic in love with his power tools? Because his saw reciprocated.

_What would you call it when a metal object is fixed using metal by a metal worker. You would call it an irony.

_Why are puns about stone tools never appreciated? Because they tend to be Oldowan.

_Why is the shovel one of the most used construction tools even today? Because its invention was ground breaking.

_What would you call a surgery in which the surgeon’s tools get swapped with that of the handyman’s? A gut wrenching operation.

_What does Snoop Dogg use for making his sculptures? Four chisels.

_What would you call a jacknife from which all the tools have been removed? A Swiss Navy knife.

_Why should tools never be used for sorting small and big fences? Because it would turn out to be a fence sieve.

_Why did the businessman hate to deal in mechanical tools? Because he was screwed over more than once in it.

_What do you get when you search how to light a campfire without using any tools on Google? You get thousands of matches.

_What would you call a pruning tool which is not expected? A non-secateur.

_Which is the tool that you would find in the bag of a combat medic from Poland? A war saw.

_Why are fanny packs not the right option to store household items? Because they are just waisted space.

_Which office tool is most preferred is most preferred by the sheep? A lambinator.

_What would you call someone who reads about amateur mechanical tools in depth? An avid reader.

_What would you call the science of discovering new circumcision tools? Cutting edge technology.

_Why was the hammer not allowed to attend the party along with his seven other friends? Because he was tool eight.

_What would you call a mathematical tool which supports the cause of farming vehicle rights? A Pro tractor.

_Which tool is the most suitable for breaking open an egg? A hatchet.

_What would be the name of the tool used by the Mexican to cut his small sized pizza into slices? It would be called little ceasars.

_Why was it a big deal when the huge measuring tool stopped functioning? Because a large-scale surgery was involved.

_Why should you never try to steal tools from the kitchen where you work? Because it involves a lot of whisk.

_Which is the fearsome kitchen tool that is thirsty of your blood? A spatula.

_What do you say to a hammer after it has successfully completed an assignment? You say, “You have nailed it.”

_Why does no one wish to work at a factory of mechanical tools? Because the job is boring.

_Why does no one invite the drilling machine to their parties? Because it is a boring tool.

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